Wednesday, July 27, 2011

is she serious!?

Normally I don't like to fuss about other blogs, especially in a negative light.  And, I usually don't post negative comments on other people's blogs.  I go the route that if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

But, a blog that I frequently read bothered me the other day.  I thought instead of making some pointless comment on her blog, I would vent on my own blog.

I remember standing in Goodwill a few years back with my friend Heather.  We were looking for jeans for the girls.  I told her I just wanted regular jeans with no embellishments on them.  No characters, no flowers, no anything.  She didn't totally understand why.  She had the logic that if one of the girls like Elmo, why not buy pants with Elmo on them.  And, I understand her logical totally.  For jeans I just like them to be able to be worn with anything.  So that is why I don't want the jeans to be decorated.  But, the girls do have pants with stuff on them.  So, my line of thinking went out the window a while back.

But, for shirts, whatever goes.  If the girls like Elmo, then they can have an Elmo shirt.  Whatever characters the girls have been into, they have several clothing items (underwear, socks, jammies, shirts...) of them.

The post that bothered me was talking about character clothing.  And, the way she stated it, I just couldn't believe it.  I guess it just hit a raw nerve or something.  To me, the way it came across was that she is a better mother because she puts her kids in non-character clothes.  Maybe I am being too sensitive.

These are the parts that bugged me:

"I totally went against my better judgment last week and bought an "ugly princess shirt"...or some fabric (from Joann) that I thought was not very cute, but Owen liked it."

"So on this particular shopping day, we were on the flannel aisle and Owen spotted the frog fabric and got excited. I decided that a 1/2 yard can't hurt. No one really sees jammies anyway; I'm a little more lenient with what my kids wear to bed. Lucy however, was begging for a real bad Princess Tiana fleece print which I definitely vetoed. Sorry Luce."

So, she let the boy pick out the stuff she didn't like but didn't let the girl.  And, the fabric is for jammies!  I mean, come on!
Does this make me a bad mother because of these pictures?

OH NO!  A dreaded "ugly princess" shirt!  What will we do!  Burn this picture immediately!

But, it is SOMETIMES OK to let them wear these since they are jammies.  Although, the "ugly princess" one that Bella is wearing might not be...

sorry for the poor quality...used the iPhone in bad lighting

Whatever the girls like I will buy for them.  Heck, half the time I am lucky to get Emily to wear clothes at all.  So, if she needs a Batman shirt or Woody shirt in order to wear something, then that is fine with me.

I do agree, the girls look SO cute when they are wearing a non-character piece of clothing.

But that doesn't mean that is all they should wear.  Looking through the comments on the blog I saw a comment that really stuck out.  The lady mentioned that she remembered being younger and LOVING her CareBear and other character shirts.  So, she gets them for her kids.

I am right there with agreeing that for certain times, non-character clothes are more appropriate.  But eliminating them totally just doesn't make sense. 

And I know I am not a bad mom due to letting the girls wear these types of clothes. But I just couldn't get over how Dana talked about it.  And that she refused the Tiana fabric for jammies for her girl.  What!?

It obviously left a really bad taste in my mouth.  And makes me not even want to read this lady's blog anymore.  I feel like she thinks she is a better person because of what she chooses for her kids to wear.  I guess I could summarize it by saying she judges.  Just see how she starts out the blog post.  Unreal! 

OK.  I'm over it now!  I feel a little better.


Anonymous said...

I totally understand. If I have kids, I will dress them mostly in non-character clothing because it is not my aesthetic and I am the one buying the clothes. But, if there is a character or animal print outfit that my child dearly wants, I think I would be fine giving in. Additionally, it is important to nourish a child's independence and sense of self, so I wouldn't want to prohibit my child from dressing like anything except a mini-me.

The thing is, I don't see my choices as being the only right ones and I think it is wrong to speak about perfectly suitable clothing in a demeaning manner. If the clothes cover and protect the child, then they are good. If they make them happy, even better. If they make everyone happy, then that is awesome.

Valarie said...

Sarah, I knew you would be able to verbalize it perfectly!

I am glad someone understands and agrees. Most of the comments (that I read) were in agreement with Dana on her blog! Yeah, some of the character clothing is not the cutest, but who cares. They are kids, not models. Even though sometimes I like to make them extra cute and dress them accordingly. But, overall, I let them dictate the type of clothes they wear. They are their own person.

America said...

OMG I read the blog and it just seemed very judgmental. I'm not a big fan of huge cartooned out clothing but if my son likes it and if he some what matches then oh well. When it comes to parties and such, well then the cartoon cloths stay home but for home, school, weekends...everything else they're fine. He's actually pretty good at that too, he gets to choose what to wear but from options we provide. Kids need to develop their own sense of taste and independence. I will tell him if something doesn't quite match right (Gym shoes with a dress shirt), if he agrees he changes if not then he gets to walk out of the house that way.

Tara from Me and the Mexican said...

Ok, I haven't read the blog post yet. I just wanted to say that I remember having a strawberry shortcake dress when I was little and I remember how much I loved it. When I think of it, I think of how great my childhood was.
I find NOTHING wrong with wearing character inspired clothes. They are like "name brand" clothes to a child! A child cares nothing about if they are wearing GAP, but a transformer or princess shirt is cool!
I think a child should enjoy what they are wearing. My son is a dinosaur fanatic. He has a lot of dinosaur shirts, but I'd never send him to church wearing that.... even school pictures for that matter. Hmmm, now i'm curious about the post. Off to read it. =)

Anonymous said...

Our children don't have any garments that are printed or embroidered with cartoon characters or other elements of popular culture.
Of course it's entirely up to you how you wish to dress your own children.
Should ours grow up to become designer obsessed or get Harley Davidson tattoos we may regret having rejected Spiderman accoutrements.
We are unfamiliar with Dana's blog, but perhaps her expression in this regard was misunderstood as these are rather flat forums.

Anne and Claude
Mexico, DF