Tuesday, June 09, 2009

moving on...somewhere different

(This is my mom's house, my future temporary home)

The path of my future has changed. A decision has been made and it isn't what was originally planned.

We, well, I wanted to move away from Jalostotitlan. The beach sounded like a logical idea. Some place beautiful, plenty of outside space to play in and somewhere far away from here. And, how hard can moving from one place to the other be. Not such a challenge...if you live in the US.

The cost of living is a bit more in Puerto Vallarta. A close relative of mine was willing to loan us the money to make up the difference. So, the only thing stopping us from living in PV was a place to live. There are a surprising number of websites that list properties for rent, and they are even in English. I had our search narrowed down to a few different places, one in particular. But over the past few days I started feeling stressed and the idea of moving didn't feel right.

I am not saying I wouldn't LOVE to live by/at the beach. That would be a dream come true! But there were challenges that came up that I wasn't expecting and I couldn't get past.

We couldn't find a moving truck so all my belongings would have to stay in Jalos. Our search changed to find a furnished house. Sounds simple, but leaving my things behind was not easy for me to accept. I did that same thing just over a year ago when I left my life in Indiana. I had to sell the house and almost everything we owned. I just can't come to terms with doing it again. Especially since it has taken almost the full year (and lots of money) to get this house to feel like a home and decorated in our style. Leaving it all behind and moving into someones house that is horribly decorated and furnished sounds like torture!

I also rely on my job in the States to provide money that we desperately need to survive down here. I don't know how much longer I will have that position at the company. I wouldn't think I could hold on to it for another year. At that time I would have to go back to the States to find a job. We can't live off of Jorge's income. Then he would be in PV alone and we wouldn't have enough money to support that lifestyle. He will already be upset to be away from me and the girls, I wouldn't make him do it alone. He will need to be around his family and friends. In PV we would have a "real" year lease. So, he wouldn't be able to get out of it.

I would lose my babysitter. When I need time alone, or get a headache/don't feel well, or the girls are driving me nuts, I turn to Jorge's mom to watch the girls. She has been a real lifesaver! Being in a foreign city with no one that we know around, I could never have that option. That is scary!

So the decision was made last night that we would NOT be moving to PV. Even after that decision was made I still didn't feel right. I am stressed by money, ALWAYS! I can't stop thinking that my current position with Lovett Pallet has an ending and not knowing when that is just keeps me worried. I decided instead of waiting for that time to come to me I would take charge and deal with the issue.

In October (the 14th to be exact) the permit on my car expires. Instead of our usual trip to the border and back we are going to do something different. Once we get to the border Jorge will go to the bus station and go back to Jalos and I will take the girls and continue driving to Indiana. I plan to get a full-time job and stay in the US for at least 6 months. I want to save money so we can have a decent life down here in Mexico and not have to stress about money or me having a job all the time. I am not sure how long it will take me since I will have the extra expense of putting the girls in daycare, but I will get it done!

I am looking forward to having my independence back and living in the US again. I know it will be hard to say good-bye to Jorge in October, but this is best for our family and is only temporary. I am trying to see this as a good compromise. Jorge is always mentioning me going back to the States because he feels like he can't give me a good life down here. He wants me and the girls to feel comfortable. I know he will have a hard time with it, but hopefully with his long work hours he won't be thinking about it a lot. He will manage to keep himself busy.


Laura said...

I know leaving Jorg will be hard but I bet your parents are so excited to have you and the girls home for awhile - good luck!! Allen was gone for a year - it seemed like forever at the time but now that he's home it seems like he never left - it'll be the same for you and Jorg when you see him again!

Valery said...

Val I know what you mean, my house in jalos is off of calle San Martin. I enjoy going but after a few months I cant wait to get back to the states. Are you guys waiting for his papers? We got lucky my husband got his in 3 months when President Clinton left office. He never had to leave the states, so I know it must be hard for you. I really enjoy reading your site. Valery in Tucson

Anonymous said...

When I read your blog I feel so lucky that I don't have to make decisions of the magnitude that you do, and I pray for you. I pray that you will be happy, that God will find a way to bring you back to the US or give you peace in Mexico, that your girls see how strong you are and that they are happy, too. There are SO many obstacles in your life, and I think you're handling it all with composure and objectivity (as much as one can expect given the circumstances, anyway). I'm excited to see you guys again, but so sad that you and the girls will have to be away from Jorge. I will keep praying. Just remember, if you're not happy, your family can't be either.


Anonymous said...

P.S. Sorry I haven't visited your blog sooner :(

Colin said...

Well, I'm happy for you that you and Jorge have made a decision. The Val Way seems to be all about getting things done, not wringing your hands over what to do next. Now you're in your natural "get-on-with-it" element; you have your direction and it must be a relief.

(And it goes without saying that we look forward to seeing you guys more often.)


(Even though the Flickr pics are nice.)

grandmamargie said...

I hope all is well. You haven't posted in quite a while.