back to "normal"

It's funny.  When I moved to Mexico my world was turned upside down and I wasn't ready for the ride.  Everything was different.  Whenever Jorge and I talked about anything we referred to how everything was not "normal".  The food, the people, the house, the way the water runs to the house, the water heater, the stove, the grocery stores, THE DRIVERS.  It is a different culture and that was hard to come to accept.  We had a life started in the US and that was "normal" to us.

I just returned from the US after being there for a month.  The trip was not as I thought it would be.  Prior to going I was dreading the trip.  I thought it would just be a big tease.  Put everything in front of me that I can't have.  It would be like the time in May, leaving all over again.

Surprisingly it was not what I had expected.  It was nice seeing everyone and working a regular 40 hour week while the girls were at Janet's (the daycare).  But everything I did I was wanting Jorge to be there.  Places I went with friends brought up strong memories of my husband.  I wanted him to be there with me.  Don't get me wrong, I had a great time with my friends, but it just didn't feel right.  It didn't feel..."normal".  How funny is that.  I am in the US and it doesn't feel "normal".

When the time came to return I was ready.  Ready to get back to *my* life and *my* husband.  Now things here seem "normal" to me.  Maybe this is the turning point for me to accept my life here and stop complaining.  I am ready to stop *waiting* and start *living*.  It is kind of a calm feeling I have about being here.  I am going to stop worry about the future and start living the present.

Thing will never be easy here but from my experience life is not easy.  There are challenges around every corner ready for you to tackle.  This is a big challenge but I am up for it.  I know I will come out the other side stronger and ready to fight the next battle.

I miss being around family and friends.  That is something that will never change and will never be easy to deal with.  But if all I do is worry I can't create a healthy or fun environment for my children to grow up in.   After 8 months Mexico is my "normal" and I think I am ok with that.