Happy Halloween!

cemetery

Here are so pictures that I took of the cemetery here in Jalos. It is a lot more interesting than the cemeteries in Indy. Some of the tombs you can see inside and the coffin is visible. I saw one that was obviously a baby. Very sad.

(Above) This wall of tombs held babies and children. These were the ones you could see inside.

(Right) They have built the sidewalk and covered half of this tomb. I guess this person has been buried twice.

(Left) There were several tombs like this one where the concrete slabs were missing or broken. Scary!






(Right) This was a window on the side of one of the personal buildings in the cemetery.

(Right) This shows you how deep each plot on the ground is. It allows them to stack 5 coffins on top of one another.

(Left) I hope these two were not overlooked! Why are there extra coffins laying around?

(Right) In this picture I was standing on the ground and looking down. They built this wall of tombs in the ground.

bad hair cut

Oh, and I haven't mentioned to some of you that I got my hair cut about a month ago down here. You might have noticed from the picture in the previous entry that my hair is shorter than usual.

I took pictures from my last hair cut in the States so the lady could see exactly how it should be cut. Well, I guess she is either blind or dumb because she got it all wrong.

Here is what it was supposed to look like.

And after I chopped at it for a few days to get it to look like a style, this is what I got.

When I left the salon I could have killed the lady with just my look. I think I was capable of shooting laser beams out of my eyes. She told Jorge we didn't have to pay (but he did). She cut about 2 to 3 inches more than she should have. Oh I was so mad!

bad day

The drive to the border put me in a funk I wasn't expecting or wanting. I just can't shake this mood I am in. I just started walking in a very long tunnel and I am ready to see the light at the end but I don't think it is ever going to come.

I think I am just losing the battle. I came to Mexico with several thousands of dollars and it is basically gone (bills, moving expenses, furniture, you name it). I came to Mexico with hope and it is gone. I came to Mexico thinking this might not be that bad and so far that thought is gone.

I am now in the "what if" stage. What happens when I don't have a job anymore? At some point I am assuming that will happen. How will we survive on such little money? How will I provide for my children? How will we be able to keep the car? How will we pay rent and other bills? How will we manage for several years? Will I have to go back and our family will have to be torn apart? I just want to stomp my feet and yell "this isn't fair" but I know that won't help.

This curve ball life has thrown at me is challenging me in every possible way. I am exhausted from all the battles. I am ready for something to go right. I am ready for someone to tell me that it will all be OK and it be true. I am ready for it to start getting easier. I am ready to stop feeling like crap. I am ready to feel like I have a life instead of feeling like I am waiting for something.

I probably will never be able to explain how I feel exactly. I usually hide all my feelings deep down inside because it just eats up at Jorge too much when I let them fly. He feels it is his fault that I am here. And I would never put the blame on him.

For the first couple months I couldn't stop being sad and very emotional and it just made him depressed and he told me to go back. How can I not be with my husband? I don't have that ability to be away from him for long periods of time. How can I take his children away from him? It is not like they are older and can understand. They are babies and need him around. He needs them around.

This entry is not the kind of entry I intended to be on this blog but right now it is all I can think about so I am hoping by writing it some of the feelings will disolve.

I told Jorge we need to go for a walk downtown and try to forget about our bad luck. I might take the camera and take pictures for all of you.
I promise a happier more upbeat post next time.

the border

We had to drive up to the border yesterday in order to renew the permit on our car. The picture above is where we had to go. There is no way around the 11 hour drive (one way). They have to physically remove the sticker from your windshield and the person the vehicle is registered to has to be present. So, every six months we have to repeat this process. FUN!!

The whole way up I didn't feel anything, just anxious to get this drive over. Once we got into Nuevo Laredo I started thinking about how close we were to the US border. The road that leads us to the building to do all the paperwork runs parallel with the small river that separates the US from Mexico. I could have thrown a rock and have it land in Laredo, TX.

I was MAD! Almost crying mad. I didn't think I would have any bad feelings, but being so close and seeing the US was heart wrenching. You could see Wendy's, McDonald's, hotels, banks and homes in the US. I just sat there in the car thinking how ridiculous it was that we can't cross that stupid border. Well, I can but my husband can't.

How is that OK? I know he did something that by law he was not supposed to do, crossed the border illegally. But, why is it not OK for some people to come to the US? The United States is a melting pot of every nationality. My great grandmother came from Germany. What family can go back a few generations and claim to have been from the US?

It is just so frustrating going through this whole process. The not knowing is killing me and I am just short of 6 months into the situation.

I have been so removed from the US this whole time that it is easy to not think about it. Yes, I think about things I don't have here (like groceries and such), but I don't really think about *it*. I stay in the house most of the time and avoid reality.

Being yards away from the US just put a stake through my heart. It is something I want so badly but feel helpless to get it.

I know I should just accept this and be thankful for everything I have but sometimes that is not easy. We have our health and that is more than some people can say so I will try and think of it that way.

not everything is bad

The sky is beautiful today. That is one good thing about Mexico, it is rarely overcast (or not sunny) here. We are always looking for the positives!

Bella's many eyes

Within a five minute period of time I took these pictures of Bella's many eyes. She knows several words but only needs her eyes to talk. As you can see she is a handful.

Here they are:

Naughty

Silly

Sweet

Curious

Happy

nervous wreck

I have never been so nervous at a circus before. I guess I must first tell you that Mexico doesn't have any sort of safety regulation or standards. This is an "enter at your own risk" type of country.

Before the show even got started there was a nervous feeling that came over me. We walked into the tent and I looked at the bleachers and refused to sit anywhere except for the row that your feet were on the ground. The part your butt went on were overlapping (yes, I said overlapping) boards of wood. Rope was securing them to the steel support beams. What the...? I was expecting them to collapse at any moment.

It first started with a man (Tarzan) and a woman (Jane) swinging around on those long scarf looking things. In the middle of their routine the music started skipping and they finished without the music. With the lack of music you can hear the wench pulling and releasing the cord to raise and lower them. I thought any second it would snap. I think they used that same wench when the ark was built (that is if they had wenches back then).

Then there was a guy that was on this trapeze type swing in the air (it was operated by the same wench) and in one of his balancing acts he lost balance and I almost lost my bladder control.

Then they brought out the elephant and since the evening was starting off with a bang, scenes from those crazy moments caught on tape type of shows with elephants going wild in small areas kept going through my mind. They say third times a charm and THANK GOD this was the third act. No problems!

Then the circus crew took about 10 minutes to set up the net for the trapeze artists. Three guys (one was Tarzan) in army fatigue were standing under the net and music sounded, boy band music followed by "I'm too sexy" and they stripped off their outfits to reveal white skin tight pants. They might has well been naked. I thought I was at a strip club and asked Jorge if he had any ones.

Then Snow White and 5 out of the 7 dwarfs came out. I guess the other 2 had a little too much tequila. Snow White then removed the bottom part of her dress revealing a semi-thong. Half of her butt-cheeks were showing. I guess it was only fair to the men to have a half dressed women since just an act earlier we had 3 male strippers. She proceeded to swing around in the air on this hoop (operated by the same zillion year old wench).

They did bring out a horse and a goat and a llama. Tarzan was handling the animals as well. And between acts he was selling those twirly light things. I guess you have to multi-task when they only charge $2 for admission.

We ended up leaving early because our nephew was hungry and likes warm formula. Of course there was no microwave or any other contraption to warm the water.

I can only image what the rest of the show was like.

the circus is in town

We were downtown today exchanging money and saw some advertising for the circus. They are opening tonight. Of course we are going to take the girls. I think the tickets are only $2 a piece. Can't beat that. Plus, there really isn't any other sort of entertainment here, well other than drinking and I think the girls are a bit too young to introduce them to alcohol.


Forget commercials or any print ads to advertise. They just put the animals directly in your face. This is what gets your attention. Maybe a little dangerous with the elephant but that adds the excitement.
I am sure we will have a blast as long as the tent is not a million degrees inside. I let you know how it turns out.

more proof

This was just found outside on our front wall.

One word...NASTY!

I should have put something in the picture to establish size but I wasn't going closer than what my zoom lens was capable of doing from a few feet away from it. It's size was about 2-3 inches wide and 3-4 inches long.

I am definitely going to have a nightmare tonight.

***UPDATE: After looking at several different kinds of spiders (and almost puking because I hate spiders so much), I think this is a Wolf Spider. My stomach is aching from looking at all the pictures of spiders. I keep feeling things crawling on me. Not only am I definitely going to have a nightmare tonight, I would bet on it.

nature

Jorge is constantly making fun of me because I photograph everything. I have my camera in reach almost all of the time. For the girls I think they will like having so many pictures of them growing up. I love seeing old photos of when I was little. Also, I would like to have photos of our journey here in Mexico. And, as I stated in the last entry, technology is great and digital cameras make it easy to take as many as you like.

The photos he make most fun of me are when I run outside to take a picture of some bug or whatever else has stumbled onto our porch. You just don't see a variety of bugs and critters in Indy.

Here is a tiny little frog that we found on the front patio last night. He was very willing to let me take his picture. I didn't want to touch him because that would be gross and I don't know anything about what kind he is.

 

We saw this a few weeks back. I think this is a walking stick. I don't think they can harm you but I still don't want to touch it. Yuck! I am not a lover of bugs by any means.

I really hate beetles. I hate when they touch me with those sticky little legs of theirs. It grosses me out just thinking about it now. During the months of May, June and July there were a million of these guys. We don't have any screens on the window. I kept the windows closed because I didn't want them getting into the house. This particular one scared the crap out of me. I was watching TV and heard something (like the size of a dinosaur) hit the light in the kitchen. I was a bit hesitant to investigate. I walked over to the sink to find this giant beetle. I made Jorge remove it AFTER I took a picture.

It is a daily occurrence to find lizard on the patio. They can get in easily but have problems getting out. There are steps that you walk down and once they are in it is hard because of the tile on the walls. They just can't grip it to get back out. This one is by far the meanest looking one we have found. He is the biggest as well. We did see one the other day I swore was straight from the Crocodile Dundee movies. So I exaggerate some times. Bella gets excited when she sees the little ones. She recently held one in her hand.

I am sure I will take plenty more pictures to share of weird bugs and such. Nothing can make me stop!

five months and counting

I have been living in Jalostotitlan, Jalisco, Mexico for just over 5 months now. It is definitely a different world down here. Third World to be exact.

It has been great (most of the time) to be with the girls as a stay-at-home mom. Seeing them grow and learn everything is something I wouldn't have been able to do as much in the US. Bella is already 21 months and Emily is 7 months.
Life is predictable down here. Every day is pretty much the same as the day before. It is easy to lose track of what day it is. Surprisingly time is going by quickly. Not quick enough as far as our 10 year stint. Hopefully (crossing fingers) it won't be 10 yeas. We don't look ahead that far anymore. We concentrate on the present. The lesson was a hard one to learn.
We have been blessed with the support of everyone and the understanding that this is unfortunately something we had to do. It is hard being thousands of miles away from all my family and friends. I get homesick every now and again.

For Jorge this has been a double-edged sword. He gets to see family now, but he had been Americanized so he misses the States a lot. We had a great life started there and we had to up-root everything and start over.

I thought I would start (again) writing a blog so people can see what my life is like down here. Also, it will be interesting to read older post to see how my attitude changes about different situations.

I hope you enjoy reading the entries and hope that I can make them interesting enough for repeat business.

Thank goodness for technology. It has kept me sane in all of the madness of this whole mess.