Saturday, March 10, 2012

this is why I started this blog

When I first started this blog, 3 1/2 years ago, I did it for a few reasons.  One, I wanted to have a place where friends and family could read about my experiences with living in Mexico.  And, two, I wanted to see if my views of life and my "situation" would change over time.

I never thought my opinions of living in Mexico would change.  And, I'm not a closed-minded person, but thought that my life was pretty much wrecked when I had to close up shop in Indy and move to some small town in the middle of Mexico.  As I have admitted, I didn't do it without my fair share of kicking and screaming.

I used to look at these pictures of the house we had just had built and get so upset.  Like a life was stolen from me.  But, now, I can look at them and it doesn't affect me at all.  I just remember them fondly.  And, I think one day, we can just do it all over again, if we choose.





So, sitting here today, after reading a friend's blog post, where she lists my blog and a description of it on her blog (She cracks me up!), I realized that my life has become "normal".  She wrote:

"http://bigvz.blogspot.com/ Valarie is the Martha Stewart of my blogging world. She homeschools, she remodels, she crafts, she cooks. And than she shares all of that with the rest of us. My husband still hasn't forgiven her for giving me the idea to paint our house. "

I have felt OK for quite some time, but I really don't think about it that much.  I guess with all my daily tasks, and all the other things that keep me busy, I just don't think about stuff like I used to.  I equated happiness, success, and a full life to living in the States.  And, while I do want to move back when we are allowed, I am totally fine living here in Mexico and I don't view the States as my only means of happiness.

I used to focus on what happened to us instead of getting past it.  Immigration has been a tornado for many people.  And, I think that being able to brush yourself off, and not dwelling on it is the only way to get your life back.  It might not be the life you were planning.  But, when does that ever happen?

When February 5th of this year came around, I didn't even remember that the day was sort of significant.  I just overlooked it.  February 5, 2008 was when Jorge was barred for 10 years from the US.  I used to dwell on that day as well as the day that I moved down here.  Sort of like an anniversary.  But, I don't anymore.  I don't think that should rule my life.  That is why I don't ever talk about immigration on this blog.  I have long moved on and started living again.

Basically, I just thought it was kind of neat, that in a list of blogs that Jennifer reads, when putting a description to mine, the words "Mexico" and "immigration" are not even a thought.  It is great.  And it loops back around to why I started this blog in the first place.  I have changed and it feels really good.


Now, of course, this is my journey. Jorge still feels the pangs when he sees the pictures of our house in Indy.  In a situation where I thought I would be the one most affected, he actually seems to have it much harder.  But, one of these days, I hope all that will turn around.  And, I try to make it as easy on him as possible.  As far as me, I am doing OK!

11 comments:

julie said...

I love this!!!

rubireyes said...

Admittedly I can be a bit of a cornball, but you brought tears to my eyes.

Stephanie G said...

I am glad for you, I read your blog and it is my inspiration to live my life to the best here in Mexico. thank you for all of your inspiration1

Cutzi said...

I am SO proud of you! I remember when you still struggled with all of those feelings. It is no small thing to adjust our attitudes to look at the bright side and to be thankful rather than be discouraged and disappointed. What an example to your daughters and to all those around you. And such a happier way to live life! And so often, we look around at the things we enjoy so much in our lives and realize we never would have had them if not for the hard changes. We just never know what sorts of blessings are waiting for us around the bend.

Valarie said...

Thanks for your sweet comments, ladies!

Stephanie, I know it is hard when you first start out, but things do eventually settle down and smooth out. Hope you are feeling well after surgery.

penny said...

Rock on, Val! I never thought I'd hear you say these things. I'm so happy for you. And inspired... as usual! :)

Lisa n Javi said...

Oh how I can relate. The November before Javi was deported we had just purchased our first home and had only been living in it for six months. It was horrible losing everything and to this day of course the loss was bad, but I Javi still takes it much harder than I do. He always says remember this or that. I am glad you are happy and content now and give us all hope.

Irma said...

I am 3 weeks away from moving day. This post has just changed my outlook into a more positive one. I am looking forward to reading more from your blog, thanks for sharing with us! :)

I'm the Mami said...

I admire your ability to not only adapt - but to THRIVE, here in Mexico. There are lots of families torn apart by this issue , and some of us move to MX to keep our families together - but Im not sure everyone is thriving as well as you seem to be! You are a great example to us all to embrace our lives - no matter the geographic location!

Kelsey said...

I have been following you for a little while now, but somehow missed you are from Indianapolis like me :) And we seem to follow all the same blogs! You're story is inspiring.

gaby said...

this post has given me so much strength! i just received my 10 yr ban 3 wks ago and in about 3 months my husband and daughter will be moving here to Mexico so we can be together. you are such an inspiration and i thank you for writing this. it gives me hope that i can still have a happy and fulfilling life here. when i got the news i felt so alone but now to know that their are others who have gone through what im going through and not only made it but are happy is amazing and has made this much easier to accept. thanks again! :)