macho banana

Last night we went to the store to do some grocery shopping. We went over to the produce section. While I was busy looking through some oranges or something I hear Jorge say, "Look at this!". I looked up to find this.

(This is a normal size gallon of milk, for comparison.)

(This weights .825 kg = 1.81 lbs. That is one macho banana.)

I immediately wanted to get out the iPhone and take a picture of it. I didn't have my iPhone with me. Unlike a large bottle of tequila, I could easily afford this item. An instant after realizing I didn't have the iPhone, I said I wanted to buy it. Jorge said, "Why, so you can take a picture of it and show your friends?". OF COURSE! Who wouldn't be amused to see such a large banana?

Even laying in bed last night I kept laughing silently thinking about how obscenely big it is. Where did this banana come from? Did it get dug up along with that dinosaur chicken egg? Is there some place in Mexico where giants live? That could definitely be a road trip!

can I get a...

Pair of tennis shoes, books in English, colorful thread for the sewing machine, felt, clothes in a size other than 2, pretty fabric, craft supplies...

What do all these items have in common? Things that are difficult for me to find here. Well, some I can find but are too expensive or just not the right kind or there is not a decent selection.

After calming down about living in Mexico and realizing that there are worse things that could be happening in my life, It is this that is the most annoying to deal with. Not finding what I want or need!

Living in Indianapolis my whole life, I became spoiled. I took for granted the ease of popping into Target ( I HEART Target!) or Hobby Lobby or any other fabulous store to pick up something. Things are well priced, there is a great assortment to chose from and everything is so accessible.

This easy way of life is what I will always miss and is what I will never get used to not having.

Jorge and I started walking a few weeks back and, believe it or not, I didn't own a pair of tennis shoes. How was I to find a pair here? I wasn't. I relied on my trusty mother to do me yet another favor and be my middle man. I went online and bought a pair and had them shipped to her. She, in turns, mails them to me. Luckily, most sites offer free shipping. Since the post office offers flat rate international shipping I usually try to find something else I need so she can fill up a box. It kind of reminds me of coupons. I never used coupons because I know they are not really money saving. At least not for me. I would end up buying things that I didn't need because "I had a coupon". That would have been money I wasn't going to spend. But, in my case I guess I buy things I need or really want that I can't find here. But, either way I end up spending more money so the postage doesn't up the price of that item by it's self.

(My new shoes. Only $55. Good deal, right?)

I was only able to bring a handful of books to read when I moved down here. You try to fit almost everything you own in the back of a Chrysler Pacifica and see how much you can get in there. Everything just wasn't going to fit. Finding books in English is not impossible, but limited. So, with the shoe purchase I bought the oh so popular Twilight series. You see those books/movie mentioned all the time, so I thought I would read the books.

(The first two Twilight books. My mom is sending the other two in a separate package.)

Shopping on Amazon.com was kind of interesting. I was curious if they offered shipping here and on certain items they do. The books they would ship here but I wouldn't get them for over a month and at the same price my mom could fill up a flat rate box. Shoes, no. Clothes, no. I think it is more frustrating that stores will/can ship some items and other not. I did find an online fabric store that I can have my purchase shipped here, and for only $10. I thought that was a good deal.

No matter how I get my items, via my mom or straight from the Internet store, it is still annoying that they don't have these things here. Even in the bigger cities I can't find some common items. Am I asking for too much?

(NOTE: I can't get my spacing to show up correctly when the entry is posted. I am not sure what is going on. I have several small paragraphs but when I "publish post" it shows up as one long paragraph. And, sometimes it shows more spacing than there is pre posting. ANNOYING!)

a good day

The title of this blog entry has been long awaited. There have been a lot of days lately where I have been down in the dumps. Because of very supportive people I feel I am back on track a bit. Some stresses have been lifted.

Yesterday I spent the day without the girls. I know, it was Mother's Day, but I guess you can interpret it however you like. Since I spend almost all my time with them, I looked at it as a day off. A day for me.

Jorge took me to Aguascalientes. We went to the movies and then walked around in the mall. We didn't end up buying anything. We then planned on going to Chili's. I love their chips and salsa. It was so packed and our stomachs couldn't handle the wait so we ended up going to McDonald's. I know, McDonald's? Hey, when you are living in a tiny town where there are no food joints other than hole in the wall dives that don't offer much of a variety, any chain restaurants are a treat.

Then we ventured over to Home Depot. This was the place I was looking forward to. I wanted to buy a few flowers and some pots to add to my *garden* (which is growing like crazy) on the front patio. Not having anything green around sucks. Plus, taking care of the plants and watching them grow helps with my stress. I would love to move to a house with some real outdoor space with a small patch of grass or dirt. Maybe one day.

(The Gerbera Daisy is my favorite flower. Of course I had to buy a pink one.)

(And, I didn't want the pink one to not have an orange friend. They are sitting on each side of the front door. A nice way to come home.)

(The watermelons had to be transplanted to a bigger container.)

(The bean plant is getting ready for Jorge to climb it.)

(The tomato plants are flowering. Soon I will have to find some kind of support for them.)

Since it was *my* day and all, Jorge was going to stop by the fabric store in Aguascalientes without a fight. It is the same store as the one in San Juan (where I normally go if I want to attempt to find some fabric), but this one looks a lot bigger and I was hoping (crossing my fingers) that they would have a better, larger selection. Unfortunately it was closed when we drove back by it on our way home. I guess next time.

All and all it was a nice relaxing day.

mother's day

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM!

We love you and miss you!

And, to all of you other mothers, too!

Hope all of you had a great day.

thank you

I wanted to thank everyone that sent an email or posted a comment or did other extraordinary things the other day when I was down in the dumps.

I am so far away (physically) from everyone that sometimes I feel alone and at a dead end. When everyone comes to the rescue, like the other day, I realize that I am not alone. I have all of you to help me in your own ways. I am learning that taking or asking for help is not as painful as I thought it to be.

Anyway, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to all of you!

one more

I blog surf because it leads me to interesting people and things, plus I usually have time to do so. I have a new *blogger friend*, Cutzi, and the other day she posted a link to make an apron out of a dish towel. I thought I would make one for Bella. I had a really cute towel with cherries on it and thought that would be perfect. I made it a little bit different but it still does the job.


Bella seems to like it. Now she can be my official helper in the kitchen. See for yourself.

recycling--sewing project--mother's day gift

A few months back I got a care package in the mail from some of my awesome friends (Heather, Julie & Amy). They had went to Target, a place I miss dearly, and bought odd and ins that they knew I would love. One thing that was in the box was a table runner. It was so pretty and I opened it and put in on the table immediately. You can see on the table in the picture below that it barely fit the table and I wasted no time to iron it. After a few uses I had to wash it and didn't pay attention to the instructions. Oops! It shrunk. Now it has been in a bag with all my fabrics for sewing.



As you know Mother's Day is this weekend. I wanted to get something small for Jorge's mom. She has had a hard life and I think she deserves something on Mother's Day.

The other day we were over at her house and she was cooking gorditas for us. She was about to drop the dough in the oil and before she did she went to get a button up shirt and put it on backwards as a make shift apron.


Sitting here in the house thinking about what to get her, a light bulb went off! I can use that table runner and make an apron. It is a thick canvas like material that would be perfect for an apron.


I did just that. It took me about 3 hours but I made sure to make it look as nice as possible. Here are the results.








No money spent yet a thoughtful gift. Anyone need an apron? :)

photos...the good and the bad

Pictures are great. They capture times that you wish to always remember. But, at the same time they are rather good at being painful. The digital age allows us to look back so easily at all those good times. It is those same good times that can sometimes bring you heartbreak.

I was just looking at some older pictures on my computer and came across these pictures of Bella and Emily within a week of Emily being born. How small both of them were.




I also ran across these pictures. They are of the times when life made sense and things seemed to be going well. We were building a life. Thoughts of the girls running around in the backyard, playing in a blow-up pool, cookouts with family and friends. Trips to Kroger to get anything you need. Just a different time.

We had just had the house built. We opted again the builder putting down sod and did it ourselves. Having no grass allowed us to easily (well, let's use that term lightly) put a patio out back. Jorge was so proud of himself. He did it pretty much all by himself. It is all this work and love for something that makes it hard when you look back at what you had. I realize that all of these things are just that, things. But, they are also a life, a start of a family, and a comfortable way of life. These are the things when I think about them makes this journey a bit harder to swallow.


So, when I see pictures of the house it makes me think about how easy and nice life seemed to be. Not that it was always peachy keen, just now I want it back. The house we rent now is not uncomfortable and other than not having a dishwasher and garbage disposal, it has all the comforts of an average house. I guess it wasn't what I wanted or planned so it might never be good enough. I need to get over it, I know, but how?

(That is Bella on the corner of the couch.)

When I get sad about being here Jorge is always sweet about it. He asks me if I want to go back, back to the US. The problem is there is nothing to go back to. The good days I have here are ones where I just don't think about anything. My average day is working on the computer, doing dishes and/or laundry, feeding/bathing/playing with the girls and watching TV then going to bed. A girl can only stay in that state for so long and that is when I have my bad days.

I am not even having a bad day today, just this seems to be on my mind. I think I am trying to figure out how to deal with this. You would think after a year I would be used to all of it and stop thinking about. I guess not, though.

one year

Yesterday marked my one year anniversary of being in Mexico. It was yesterday one year ago that I crossed the border in Nuevo Laredo to move down here. It was a long and rough trip and I didn't think I was going to make it.

About 4 am on May 2, 2008 I headed out of my house for the last time on Wildcat Run Lane with the Pacifica loaded and with Emily and Bella. We had a lot of road ahead of us. Emily was 2 months and Bella was 16 months. I didn't know what I was getting into. I am sure most people that I was nuts for doing it alone. To me I didn't want to intrude on anyone else. I thought this way I could push through the crying and drive just a bit longer or I could stop as much as we needed (to change diapers, mix formula or whatever) without bothering anyone.

Thanks to many, I had enough gas cards to make it almost the entire way to the border. I also got a McDonald's gift card and that was our stop of choice. We still have those Happy Meal toys (American Idol toys to be exact).



I had pretty much been an emotional wreck for those last 3 months in the States. It was February 5, 2008 that I got the call from Jorge telling me they had barred him for 10 years. I was 8 months pregnant with Emily and realized that I was on my own. It didn't take us long to come to the conclusion that I would be moving to Mexico. I decided that I would have Emily, wait for the birth certificate and social security card and then head down.



I had to pack up my entire life and move. I sold as much as I could. I moved a few dressers to my mom's house and had the crib sent down to Mexico, but all other furniture slowly vanished from the house.



I had a massive garage sale where I made over $1500 for my belongings. I occasionally would grab items from the sale and take them in the house, always thinking I could make room in the car. And, let me tell you, it is an odd feeling to sell things you really weren't wanting to part with.



After 18 hours on the road I just couldn't go any further. I had originally planned to get to Austin, but 10 pm rolled around and I was exhausted! I decided to look for a hotel. Problem was that everyone else was too. It was right around graduation time and they were having all these conferences at that time. Let me tell you it is not the easiest thing running in to the hotels just to be told they had no rooms with the girls. Finally I stumbled across a hotel with ONE room left. I took it!



The next morning I woke up to find a flat tire. Remember, I have the Pacifica packed so full that I don't think a mouse could have farted in there. Well, that is where the spare is. It was 6 am and I was in full on panic. At this point all I wanted to do is get on the road and cross the border to find Jorge. He had taken a bus to the border so he could drive the rest of the way down. Plus, we just wanted to see him after our three month separation. I asked the guy at the front desk and he was no help. He handed me the phone book. Thanks, buddy! No place was open or if I did get a hold of someone it was a million hour wait. Finally I got a hold of a guy that said he would be right over. He said he could patch the tire so I could drive and get a new one. There was a Wal-Mart that the automotive department opened at 7 am. Thankfully they had my tire in stock. I think they only had 2, but I only needed one.



After a few tears and more stress, I finally got back on the road. We crossed over the border and immigration on the Mexican side was kind and just let me through. They didn't care about what I had in the car. I guess they saw a white girl and her two little girls and thought I wouldn't be carrying any guns or money. He asked if I knew where I was going and told me to be careful and keep my windows ups. There are people that stand on the corners of the intersections and ask for money.




I knew where the building was to check in me and the vehicle. I was there 2 years ago. I pulled into the parking lot and immediately saw Jorge! What a relief! I suddenly felt ok. I think I was just tired of doing it alone.

(First time Jorge saw Emily!)

We got to Jalostotitlan the next day because we had to stay in a hotel due to the tire issue that previous morning. I was happy to be here but at the same time I couldn't believe how much I left behind.

It took about 3 months to get past all the stress and sadness that I was experiencing. I had major culture shock. Nothing was the same. My life had changed overnight and not by choice. After that period I felt ok. Of course I have good and bad days. But, it has now been a year. I don't know what the future holds but I have come to realize that is not what life is about. It is the present not the future that counts. Concentrate on what is at hand and things will hopefully work out.

fun in the sun

The nice thing about it being hot outside is that we can play in the water. The girls love water. With temperatures in the high 80's and 90's it seems silly not to. Plus, it wears the girls out! Easier to get them to take their nap. Naps are what keep me sane.

Today we didn't get the pool out but got out a container and filled it with water and lots of toys. The girls wore their new swimming suits that grandma and grandpa bought them. It seemed to occupy the girls for a while. We also enjoyed our lunch outside.

Here are some pictures for your enjoyment!

accidental garden

Last year they had a flower expo downtown. Well, that is what they called it. It was basically a tent set up near downtown at a park. They were selling all sorts of flowers, bushes and trees at a very reasonable prices. We bought a beautiful hydrangea plant that had big bluish purple flowers on it. We put it out back on the patio and it did fairly well in the shade. That was until we got Colbie.

He saw all the green leaves and assumed it was his personal salad bar. Once he was done with it, all the remained were a few sticks poking up from the soil. I stopped watering it and thought that was the end of it's life. Earlier this year while back with Colbie I noticed some green leaves on those remaining sticks that Colbie so kindly left behind. It was coming back to life. I am still not sure how but was happy about it. (You can see in the picture the stick where he chewed on it.)

Now we are close to having flowers once again. I found a spot on the front patio that is shaded the whole day (and far away from Colbie). If this sensitive flower gets even 10 minutes in the sun here it is on the path to death, again.

Unknowingly, last year Jorge stuck a bean in the soil. I guess he secretly desires to be a farmer or has some fantasy to act out Jack and the Bean Stock. After moving the plant to the front patio I noticed a different type of plant growing on the side of the flower. I pointed it out to Jorge and he said, "Yeah, I put that in there last year.". Now we have a bean plant growing. I am not sure what we will get from it, but we will give it it's fair chance at life.

Now with the hydrangea plant growing so well and the bean plant taking off, we thought we would add to our garden. We got some free tomato seeds in a packet of cookies. Odd combination but we didn't care. We bought a planter (probably a bit too small) and planted those seeds. Now we have a couple of tomato plants.

I guess feeling so successful with his *crop* of beans, Jorge wanted to try his luck again. One day he walked in the house, after eating some watermelon, and told me that he had thrown some of the seeds from the watermelon he just ate into the planter of tomatoes. I saw the seeds sitting on the surface of the soil but didn't really pay much attention to them. I kept water the tomato plants as normal. One day I went to water the plants and noticed a different type of plant growing and it took all of 1 second to realize what it was. Over the span of a week or two 3 more of those plants appeared.

After only buying the hydrangea last year, we now have 1 hydrangea plant, 1 bean plant, 2 tomato plants and 4 watermelon plants. Let's see how good we are at producing the produce.